When you want to change something in your life it is a very common experience to say that you couldn’t do what you want to do because you would up set someone or that person might be offended or another might think badly of you. The result of all this thinking on your part is that you don’t ever get around to doing the thing you really would like to be doing.
But sometimes we all forget that another person may see the world in a different way to us. The expression about getting into someone else’s shoes is not necessarily to be taken literally although there was a well known actress who found that in order to get into character she had to first get the shoes of the character onto her feet.
However, what the phrase usually means is that you must imagine seeing the world through that other person’s eyes and with their experience of life. You can get a sense of this by standing in a different place and saying to yourself ‘I’m seeing the world through so and so’s eyes now.’ Counsellors use this technique by getting their client to sit in a chair which represents a person and see the world through the eyes of him or her. It’s useful to do this when you have a disagreement with someone and don’t understand why that person won’t understand your point of view.
You may find by stepping into their shoes you can understand their objections. When you understand this you can proceed to reach an agreement with them because when you demonstrate to them that you really understand where they are coming from then they will be more open to understanding your point of view too.
In the end you must consider whether the most important thing in your life is pleasing other people or doing whatever it is that you really want to do. When you get to the end of your life will you say to yourself that at least you tried not to upset anyone. Or will you be able to say that maybe you upset a person or two along the way but at least you did all those things you really wanted to do! It’s your choice whether you live for yourself or entirely for other people. Of course ideally it is great if you can find the balance between fulfilling your won needs and not upsetting too many along the way either.
Free report ’15 Ways to change’ from http://www.youcanchangeyourlife.co.uk from Susan Kersley, retired doctor turned Life Coach http://www.thedoctorscoach.co.uk.